Setting Small and Big Goals With Chronic Illness

Today’s post is about giving yourself permission to set small and big goals to help you through chronic illness and get you through to the other side of a flare up of Crohn’s or colitis sooner rather than later.

If you prefer to listen to audio please hop on over to the recorded podcast.

Whilst you are really poorly and unwell and wondering when you will have the freedom to set goals again, the truth is you can do it now! I learnt the hard way, and restricted myself with limiting beliefs, and this added to the emotional stress of having an ongoing illness. Belief and positivity that the future will happen is half of any battle, so let’s dive into the tips and advice I would give you today as in my experience of an 8 year long flare up.

Let’s just say the new year has been so busy businesswise and things are moving in new directions which is so exciting. So much is changing all of the time in retail and e-commerce which is super fun and I have so many ideas and projects going on and goals for at least 2 years ahead, oh yes things are good, but I promised a Crohn’s and colitis post, so I wanted to get it done, not perfect, but done, so that I could spread a little more hope to those with a new diagnosis, an ongoing flare up and getting into remission, taking care of someone with illness, or for those of you who have that ever looming sense that a flare could be imminent. I know how all of that feels! If you are in the club and have a life limiting illness, don’t let this hold you back, you’ll understand where I’m coming from in this post, but hopefully learn something about recovery. With colitis you need all the help you can get, I needed endless help and support, but most of all I learn eventually how to support myself, and how to be kinder to myself. I am here to just be one more pitstop for you on your road to recovery. I want you to take so much from this post that gives you hope for the future and I’d love to hear from you, if you have questions or have any comments about colitis. We are all on a different health journey but my hope is that anyone with a chronic illness or life limiting illness can come away from this blog with a new friend. I’m here for YOU warriors.

If you don’t know a thing about inflammatory bowel disease you are not alone, but over 500,000 people in the UK are affected by IBD, but don’t be mistaken this is not Irritable Bowel Syndrome known as IBS you will have heard of, where the tummy is often described as being in knots and you can take something to alleviate the attack, but in my experience I had overactive anxiety and IBS from the age of 16 and then I developed IBD in my early 20s after a stressful life changing event.

Ulcerative colitis can affect any part of your bowel, in my case my ulcers were in the left side, and oh boy do they let you know they are there. The problem is that our brains are a bit ‘stupid’ and don’t know where the source of pain is, so in the case of inflammation in the bowel, when my ulcers were at their worse, the pain would start from under my left rib cage and go all the way to the exit, if you know what I mean, so sitting, standing, lying down was painful in every way. Ulcers are formed by inflammation in the bowel. The latest science has discovered that some people are born with more of a certain type of protein called ETS2, which correlates to higher levels of IBD inflammation in the gut! The ulcers are incredibly painful, if you have ever had a bad mouth ulcer, enlarge that and then try to live a day with it in your intestine, right, so this is a nasty disease, plus the ulcers bleed so the host loses blood from their bowel, as well as mucus and a whole host of other issues can come along such as bloating, gas, pain of course, inability to eat well and maintain a healthy weight, malnutrition, muscle loss, brain fog, chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety, joint pain, potentially surgery, a stoma, and of course isolation not being able to go out, and bed boundness and risk factors from medication, such as immunosuppressants which dial down the immune system to help the body recover, but that comes with other issues such as a higher risk of developing certain types of cancer particularly skin and cervical cancers in women, and other dormant viruses becoming reactive. On certain drugs I was also really sensitive to the sun and heat and my skin would be on fire if I went out into the sun.

Personally I think being a huge overthinker and worrier in life, is a huge part of the worsening of the disease and the prolonging of a flare up as well as more recurrent flares, so I’ve been working on getting my mind into a state of calm for years. I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means, but I have so many new tricks now to keep calm. What haven’t I tried? My favourites are things like practicing mindfulness and meditation, I even used some time at the queue in the bank the other day to use my time to practice stillness n the mind. I also tried looking at yellow as it is the colour to help open the digestive chakra (and I was NEVER one for yoga or chakras, so I’ve tried everything), so you could watch an open fireplace on YouTube, and yellow mindfulness videos, which I have to say gave me such calm. You should try it. I’ve linked an example of this at the bottom. I now have a bright yellow wall in my house just to go and spend time with, especially in the morning on a gloomy day it brightens up the room and makes you feel calm and tranquil, and it definitely stills the noises in the gut by just allowing myself time to set my mind for the day, leave the stresses for a while before I plough into work and the million things demanded of me.

So there are 500,000 people in the UK alone with this illness, you probably know someone who lives with it without even knowing it, so be kind, remember the illness is so often hidden and each person is going through a lot so just offer help or empathy for someone when they need it. It’s also really hard for people to talk, because yes the symptoms are embarrassing, so they’ll often keep it a secret and cancel plans all the time. Me, I like to talk about it now, as I want to help others if I can.

If you’ve read earlier posts you’ll know that I was diagnosed with colitis at the age of 21, and it was a disease I had never heard of, but oh boy, was this illness going to make itself known throughout my life and completely transform the person I was to become. It has lead to pretty much every decision I have ever made about, friendships, careers, relationships, goals, limitations, you name it, this diagnosis is a kicker but it can also be your super power my friends.

So at the age of 21 after some quick investigations at hospital and the diagnosis of left sided ulcerative colitis and coeliac disease to boot, so yes that’s two auto immune diseases, I was treated quite quickly and my UC was in remission after a course of Pentasa, which we all know as Mesalazine (oh the drug names!) I will be mentioning a tonne of those) I took Pentasa for quite a long time, but eventually the dose was reduced when I got better, and I was able to stop taking it and thank goodness because I once got one of the tablets lodged in my throat and that was quite scary, I don’t know why they are pressed and cut so sharply, anyone? but I was in remission for 10 years, and had a fabulous time. I went back onto Mesalazine in later years but in granular form so that wasn’t so bad, but it was sweetened with aspartame to my horror, which I did contact the manufacturers about why a sweetener was necessary because it spikes insulin and causes other problems, but they said the dose was so minimal that I was reassured it was safe for use, so don’t ever let me put you off this drug, you’re in the best hands, my advice is to be taken with a pinch of salt as my experience is mine, but when you are in the depths of despair you quite literally question everything you are being asked to put your body through. I even looked into Teflon in saucepans being the cause of colitis, I read every research paper out there, every clinical study about mice with colitis, so cruel, and all the things, books about diet, colitis, studies on the vagus nerve -science on this is just emerging so I suggest taking a look into this if you are interested, I’ll link to a book I’ve read on the subject in the show notes, low fodmap diets, gluten free diets, anti-inflammatory diets, the power of sour cherries, fish, turmeric and black pepper, pomegranate juice, kefir, I was just looking for a cure. I became lactose intolerant during flare ups and in recent years became allergic to egg as well, so my body was rejecting a lot of foods and my body constantly was in a cycle of pain, stress and trauma from endless colonoscopies, and some scary losses of blood. Then there was the lack of help for my mental health and the breakdown of my friendships and relationships, people were dropping out of my life like flies, I just didn’t know how to cope. You don’t know what you don’t know, right? But hold on, I’m coming back to a big ray of hope my friends…just keep on listening to what I have to tell you.

I can’t look back at my 30’s without being reminded of the suffering I was enduring, I can’t count the endless days and nights of crying. Every photo is a reminder of my ‘moon face’, a swollen face, and skinny body from all the weight loss. I was dependent on steroids to stop the bleeding, I could never taper off without bleeding and was stuck in a cycle. I had steroid tablets, steroid foams, liquid enemas, plus amatryptaline for depression and anxiety, just trying to calm my nervous system down after prolonged periods of stress and trauma from endless years of pain. Steroids gave me terrifying night mares, one night I woke screaming with my finger nails digging into my arm, they also gave me acne and facial hair, so my self esteem was going down, oh my goodness, I was on edge all of the time and highly strung, I would get up and start hoovering at 5am and work sometimes from 5am when I woke and still be wired at 10pm, and when I went at bed at night I would have restless leg syndrome and my mind would tick over and over, and my appetite was off the charts! Of course at my worst I would have night sweats as well because my body was fighting inflammation, and on too many occasions I would wake up my clothes drenched, and in the winter this was especially hard throughout the night as I would have to shower and totally change the bedding, my body was screaming about how stressed and inflamed it all was, and every morning I would wake up not wanting to have to endure another day of it. Every day I would wake up more tired than the next, no amount of rest would help as every night at my worst I could be in the bathroom 8-10 times, and I could spend an hour there with cramps and diarrhea, sometimes I would think I will just sleep on the loo, so I was exhausted all of the time, it was hopeless, I cancelled plans all of the time, I was anxious about leaving the house, some days I would shut the front door to go out and get to the end of the front path and need to go home again. There was no end to it, I needed a distraction from the never ending suffering and loneliness, so how did I start to make some changes? My friend, I decided to get a dog!

Because I no longer wanted to get out of bed and I was so lonely every day, I came to the decision that I needed a pet, so I rescued a whippet/collie cross called Sidney and he was my life-saver. I walked him on days when even to put weight onto my legs was painful because my left side was in excruciating pain, he got me outside even though I didn’t want to or was too frightened too. It was a new way to trick my brain into another purpose, in the hopes that I could train my brain to focus on the purpose and not the problem. Sidney was just happy to love me unconditionally and he had so much empathy for what I was going through. I knew people in my life found me burdensome, I could feel it every day of my life, I felt like a burden, it all added to the pain to be quite honest, but let me tell you- that the lessons you learn today will be the ones you teach. I am here to remind you that no matter what life throws your way it’s all for the bigger picture, you might lose some of your cheerleaders, some make promises they can’t keep, but you are going to thank this disease for showing everyone’s true colours. And you will receive boundless levels of compassion and empathy, honesty and care will come your way from the cream of the crop, you will discover who is there for you no matter what, and you are going to be so grateful for what you learn about the people you hold dear. Shout out to my biggest cheerleaders! Also, I can’t thank enough the Crohn’s and colitis UK Facebook forum for the endless support whenever I needed it, we all sit there in agony together, all of the kind words and reassurance you gave me day and night, those little heart and hug emojis meant so much, just to know that you are not alone, have a little moan and groan, or celebrate the small wins of each day, it is so important in the struggle, so reach out for help, I will link this amazing group below, because it took me too long to reach out to the community.

Would my recovery have sped up if my support circle had been there for the long haul, yes! But look, the disease is going to teach you resilience like nothing else, it’s what makes me such a determined entrepreneur, the struggle is actually the lesson, you will be so much stronger as a result and you will be able to set new boundaries, protect your energy, understand exactly what is important in life, and give yourself permission to take care of yourself before anything or anyone, I promise you that everything is going to be ok. My last flare up lasted for 8 years, and those 8 years took away almost everything, but it gave me so much more, and now I make no apologies for being me, I am a burden to no one, I stand in my truth, and would I change it? Nope! I‘d like to think it doesn’t need to be that hard, but, you are amazing and so strong, you are warriors, you can do this. It’s scary, it hurts and seems endless, I know, but this too shall pass. Keep going!!

So let’s talk goals – here’s why, I last saw my gastro- specialist in 2023 and I was really in a bad way mentally, he told me I was in a doom loop when I was sobbing in tears in his office, I think he was trying to be empathetic, but how many times do I need to cry in an office for someone to suggest some help with my mental health, not just chucking anti-depressants at it, seriously, this should come as standard!

So in 2023, I had to make changes and find some new adventures and goals, no matter what, so firstly I joined a choir. I’ve made some wonderful new friends and it’s a new way to relax and have fun, and giggle. The biggest goal was when finally I booked my dream trip to Japan, with my greatest and most trusted friend who I’ve known for 25 years. The specialist was almost scathing of me booking a trip so far away and I think was trying to talk me out of it, like I hadn’t considered that it was kind of a big deal, but I thought if I don’t do it now when I’ve been in remission for a year the window of opportunity might close again and I might never do it, and honestly I would have rather died trying at this point, than never ever do it, because it felt like my reason for being, a term they call ‘fernweh’ a longing for a far off land. A place that feels like home even though you’ve never been. So last year April 2024, me and my best friend spent 10 days in just THE most beautiful country I have seen. I climbed step after step, something I could have never done before, I saw mount Fuji, visited Kyoto and Hiroshima saw so many temple, and viewed Tokyo from 300 metres in the air, spoke loose Japanese, laughed, took a ferry, ate, walked, ate, took a taxi, I had more blisters than feet, walked some more! I did it! I even got to visit one of my stockists in Tokyo. And try and stop me I want to do it all again, the confidence I had to do it, and the even bigger surge of confidence it left me with after all the years my self-esteem had been torn up, burnt, stood on and washed down a drain, yes I left my house!!! I left my county, my country, I learnt some Japanese from youtube, so that I could speak to people on the other side of world, I climbed a mountain, I took a train without needing the loo every two minutes, I researched to find food to eat in a faraway land where there is little to no knowledge about gluten I could go on and on, I did it!! I walked nearly 20000 steps a day, and revelled in every single moment. So yes, make some big plans for your recovery. You can do it. Going from only being able to manage 200 steps a day to 20000! You will have time, you will get there, and you need to believe that you will, because it’s all out there waiting for you my friends. Keep going!

So what’s my best advice on how to get out of your bed, house, town , county, country if it’s your dream. Here we go! How to do this!…

The quicker you accept your diagnosis the better, and accept it with positivity. So what can be positive about a diagnosis Fay? well you finally have a diagnosis for starters…it is treatable, treatment will ease your suffering, you now have a community to reach out to. Hello!
Have the conversation with your nearest and dearest. Your diagnosis is life changing for everyone so the sooner you have that conversation with everyone about what a diagnosis means the better prepared you are all going to be for the worst days.
Trust and listen to your gut, recognise what your gut is telling you. It is telling you that your brain is stressed, so work on stress management above all things. I understand much more now about the brain gut feedback loop and IBS. Your gut will tell you more than your brain, it is called the second brain, but really I think it’s the decision maker. Trust it, listen and respond to what it needs. Does it need time off, and rest and recuperation, if yes then do it.
The earliest you accept a diagnosis with positivity the quicker you can put into use strategies to deal with the illness whether that be the speed dial to your nurse, making sure you keep up to date with your regular tests, appointments, and repeat medication, getting all the things you love and need when pain is bad, and you have no energy. One year I counted 28 doctors appointments not counting prep for hospital procedures. Prepare yourself a self-care survival kit ready to go, you might need it for sudden admission to hospital! I felt very alone in hospital and had no creature comforts so I could have been more prepared. Stay positive and tell yourself each day that the next one will be better, and even if physically it’s not a better tomorrow, you are still one day closer to the day it stops! It’s going to stop.
Get ahead of a flare, a flare is inevitable whether within months or years, so make sure you have your action plan in place. Whether that’s help with chores at home, talk to HR or your boss at work what your choices are, can you work from home, can you have flexi hours to work around your flare, arrange help with your children, pull in favours from friends for after school pick up and drop off, ask a friend to drop in, even when you’re in your pyjamas and at your worst, you need to feel normal. Have things in place so that you know where you are in case of a flare and have your support network engaged and prepared.
Do it stressed, or do it calm. Only one thing is true, you can do it stressed, or you can do it calm and the truth is doing things stressed only prolongs your flare. Flares are confusing and upsetting but the more you give into the mentality that it’s endless and you see no light at the end of tunnel, just know that this too shall pass. My best advice is calm your mind, calm your mind, calm your mind. Your gut and your brain talk to each other when you are awake and when you are asleep. Your body is amazing, so treat it so. If you do everything stressed you are choosing to prolong your recovery. My brain and gut had become so intertwined that I would prepare lunch, say some rice cakes, and as soon as I would sit to eat and bring the food up to my mouth, I would need to run to the loo. My brain was already telling my gut to panic, it took ages for this cycle to stop. It became psychosomatic, and was very distressing and upsetting.
Don’t do it alone. Have all the conversations you need with your loved ones, but take the opportunity to say everything else you need to say to someone outside of your circle and get in touch with Crohn’s colitis org. My worst mistake was not talking to the helpline because I was in denial and resentful of my body, I hated it. My IBD nurse told me that there wasn’t funding for my mental health but never referred me to the very charity that could have helped me, it’s not always easy to lean too heavily on your close support network. I certainly learnt that lesson the hard way. They needed a break from it too, and sometimes you just have to call in support from someone other than the ones who know you. There is such value in talking to a stranger as actually these can be the times when you are most honest about your situation, you don’t hide anything on the telephone, and you’ll be met with the kindest voice who has the most advice and practical help as well as a friendly ear. Who can understand your situation more than those with the same condition or working for a charity every day?
So, what’s in my survival kit. Lavender, I like a pillow mist and a roll on for my wrists and temples, I put this on every night as a ritual because it calms me and makes me feel safe in my routine. I love taking care of my hands because it’s really simple, you can do it for yourself and doesn’t take any energy, when you have none but again it’s just a lovely self care ritual to have. Take 10 minutes with a foot soak, lovely. I take vitamins especially D and Calcium, I eat healthily, I love fish and chicken, I practice gentle yoga, I enjoy comedy, a good laugh will help relaxation, I haven’t tried laughter yoga, but perhaps there’s something useful in it for serotonin and dopamine release. I love time with animals and cuddles for oxytocin the love hormone. I love singing and meeting friends for endorphins, helping to lower pain and anxiety and of course I love creative arts for concentration and mindfulness. I enjoy turmeric and black pepper for high doses of Curcumin a powerful anti-inflammatory mix, I have this in hot soya milk with sliced ginger for a warming comforting beverage. I cut out sugar. Sugar powers cancer and inflammation cells, so the less refined sugar you have, even though you are feeling tired and lousy and perhaps crave a treat, you will delay your recovery and probably make symptoms worse, cut out or significantly reduce caffeine and alcohol.
Offload everything you can. You need time to reserve your energy so offload anything you can to make more time for yourself, this can be a simple thing like a neighbour picking up a prescription for you or a friend collecting your shopping and helping you unpack. Some days you just won’t have the energy for the everyday things. There were many days when I would only have enough energy to shower, perhaps your partner can help you to lift the hairdryer for you as this was something I struggled with, it would leave me crying and in pain and I’d have to go back to bed.
Laughter, amongst all the pain you must find time to laugh, don’t binge watch scary movies or thrillers. Did you know that you release the same chemicals, like cortisol the stress hormone in your brain as if you were actually in the movie, keeping you in fight or flight mode, and just before bed, how do expect to get a relaxing sleep. Laughter will relax you and help to re-set your brain gut feedback loop. If you can trick your brain to think it’s happy and calm, it will help you to rest the gut, but it takes time to create new habits, so build up a catalogue of comedy you love.
Music – again train the brain to be calm, it’s no good listening to thrash metal if you want some sense of balance, you are best off finding tranquillity in some classical or low fi beats. Remove distractions to really indulge in some you time.
Zoom out from earth. I stopped watching main stream news a couple of years ago as a result of covid, I found it too triggering and a doom spiral, I reduced my time scrolling news, and decided that news wasn’t compulsory. Family ad friends bring up the news, and I learn from them instead of exposing myself to every single crisis around the world. I check in to make sure there isn’t an asteroid cruising towards earth any time soon, but generally I treat my mind with interesting podcasts, YouTube videos about travel, and discussions (other than my own) haha! I choose what I learn. I love to learn, I love humans out there doing amazing things and the drive and passion they have for business. I love dragons den, and the apprentice, people just giving it a go as entrepreneurs really lights me up because it reinforces my beliefs that you can do anything, and you’ll often hear me cheering people on from my sofa. You will always see people overcoming adversity out there, and that indulges my need for positivity. I love Diary of a CEO, which is like free therapy, and I love Cakes with Faces for fun, which is a YouTube channel all about travelling Japan, and Chris Broad’s Abroad in Japan which makes me laugh. These are my new medicines. So just find the things that make you happy and do more of that. Oh and zoom out from earth. I sometimes imagine in my mind leaving earth and looking back at it, how small it all looks and my goodness it feels good to leave it all behind for a while, it shrinks your problems. Give it a go. It’s the same as imagining your pain as a box, and shrinking the box in your mind. I’ve tried all these things to help with acute stress and panic attacks. I still suffer from overwhelm and panic attacks, I think lots of us struggle with overwhelm, but I have got much better at recognising the symptoms and controlling attacks. I could be out walking and an attack come from nowhere, which is quite scary, as my throat would close up, but I’ve found ways to just stop and give my emotions time to calm. I thank them for appearing but tell them that they aren’t useful.
Write a new bio. Accept your loss and grieve for the person you were. If you’ve had surgery and you’re learning how to live in a new way. Feel sadness for your earlier self and accept moving forward that things will be different. I have become someone different, and so I wanted to journal what they are. New things I’ve added to my bio are strong, tenacious, brave, kind, loyal, curious, unafraid, relaxed, capable, inspiring. If you don’t grieve and move forward as a new person you will continue to hold on to what was, and this will drive you crazy. Create a new life for yourself. Write down the things you love to do, people who you love, all the wonderful things you have and you will feel completely grateful and abundant in new ways. Journal every day and let this be an expression of your feelings. Writing things down serves as a reminder of just how amazing you are.
Give 30%. Don’t forget that each day you’ll have a finite amount of energy for the things you can accomplish. I tried whenever possible to work in my business between 11am and 4pm as it was all I could physically manage with my limited energy. If you only have 30% to give in a day, and you give 30%, you’ve given it your all. 100%!! Celebrate the small wins of every day.
Start a food diary. Everyone is different but there are certain foods that I definitely avoided being coeliac and having UC, but I’ll link to the book that really helped me alleviate painful and embarrassing symptoms. It took a while to adjust to a new way of eating but it was worth it whilst I was on the road to recovery. I spoke to a dietician who helped me navigate through a new meal plan and helped me reintroduce some foods at a later stage that were a bit harder to digest.
Check in with friends and family. Don’t forget you’ll have been absent from so many planned events and you can definitely check in with people, because remember they have their own news and things to share with you. It’s all too easy to become a hermit and want to hide away from the world, like an injured animal, but they WANT to hear from you. You might not have tonnes of news about yourself, and guess what, you don’t have to talk illness all the time, remember this will all help trick the stupid brain into a relaxed state, so just be curious about other people, don’t be resentful of their plans, be curious, just know that you too one day will have these opportunities. Be kind to others and it will be returned. I spent way too long angry and resentful, why did colitis choose me, but I’ve let it go.
Set Goals. Nothing is more important for a positive mindset than dreaming of your big plans. You will get better when you focus on the things that you love, and when you do, you better have your goals planned and ready to execute. I set myself the biggest goal of flying to the other side of the world, why start small??! But get a plan in place, it will stimulate your brain to get past the struggle and that goal will give you a date and a drive towards getting better. The entrepreneur in me loves setting goals, and now I have achieved one of my biggest goals, that has opened my world to setting lots of new short term goals and long terms goals. Start small now with just the little things you can try to achieve every day whether it be learning something new, or joining a new group even if it’s just online, it helps to connect, join an online course, or class, and then set yourself a bigger goal. Leaving the house to walk with a friend, do what you can manage. You will get there faster than you think.

Everyone’s journey is different, symptoms and situations are so unique to us all, some are so lucky to have encourage and support throughout life, and some of us don’t have so much assistance in the every day things, but you are never alone my friend. I now have the most understanding, patient and caring partner in my life, who loves me no matter what. He suffered me with 2 years of flare up from 2020 to 2022, and since it’s been trial and error on new medication, Tofacitinib and now Upadacitinib, so how long will I have in remission, I don’t know. I sometimes feel my gut when I’ve overdone things, I listen to it, and I adjust life accordingly. I take more time in my calmness when life is pulling me towards the busy and the now, but I started some really helpful simple yoga this year which has also helped me to have a place to go when I need the headspace. I try 2 or 3 times a week to practice and it’s such a kind exercise that you don’t have to push yourself, and it also helps me be kind to myself, take time for myself and to help overcome negative thinking which had plagued my life.

I really struggled in the past to give up my exercise, as I was fanatical about it, but I had to find new things to do in which I didn’t over do it. I was so resentful and angry about this as I was such a keen dancer and I loved aerobics and body combat and running, but I quite literally had to give most of that up, because anything too strenuous caused pain and a flare up.

Let me tell you how delayed acceptance looks. It wasn’t until a weekend in March, literally I was at the supermarket, and I realised that I was a different person walking around, I had a sense of calm in my gut. I no longer had an overwhelming sense of anxiety and that knot in my belly. My whole nervous system feels like it’s been rewired back to what it was before, and I am no longer in a constant fight or flight state where my cortisol was raised 24 hours a day. This is recovery. It has taken me so long to accept my fate and I was just riddled with anger and bereavement and resentment for everything I had lost, but I didn’t lose, I gained.

I’m still working on having a still mind, I practice every day. Each day brings something which gives me rest and peace, my life isn’t full and on the go all of the time, even though we live in a society that tells us if we are not stressed, we aren’t contributing or working hard enough, and we must be stressed to be valued, but it’s all nonsense! I still cancel plans if I’m just not feeling up to it, because I have to listen to my gut, I see so many others out living it up, and of course I miss that life, but I know that resting more now will pay off for my future plans that I actually want to do. I struggle more financially because I’m not out there making the most of every opportunity but I would rather be healthy than wealthy. It takes days to plan my podcast, but I enjoy reaching out to my community by writing a script, and if it takes a day, it takes a day. So this year, yes I’ve been making even more changes to my life and how I live it, and it’s tough as I know right now things are difficult for everyone. However, I’ve gone from that victim mentality to just accepting my lot, finding contentment, and knowing that I survived, and I’ve come out better for it. Whatever stage you are at please feel encouraged and supported, my journey is personal to me, everyone’s journey is vastly different and everyone copes in different ways. I definitely had an enormous amount of days where I didn’t want to struggle any more, it did seem endless and pointless, but thankfully I can look back in hindsight. I am glad I chose to fight the illness and not give in, because look at what I wouldn’t have done last year if I’d given up.

My name, Fay Martin, roughly translates in Japanese to Flying Warrior, and think it’s ironic, I live by that.

And remember- You are NOT a statistic. You are not alone. It is not over, and you can be the next inspiration.

I hope you feel encouraged by today’s post and have taken away some useful tips about getting through those tough days and making every day small goals so that you can get excited about some bigger goals. All the links to the books I mentioned are in the notes, and please if you liked today’s post, please leave your comments and share, because if we can help each other by bringing more awareness to Crohn’s and colitis we are more likely to have our voices heard when it comes to our health care.

Take care everyone, and talk soon.

Next time I’ll tell you all about I ate a gluten free diet in Japan. Yes I ate sushi and noodles and fried food, yum! But it was a strategic trek across a large country, so you won’t want to miss it.